Falling In Love With My Husband

More often then not when I blog it's about my children & rightfully so, my blog is titled Confessions of a Supermom. But I'm feeling I need to share about my husband today. I can truly say I've had more then a tumultuous marriage, in part due to my bitter choices. 

I have held his wrong choices against him & chosen to live in the past rather then trust God for my future. I came into this marriage a very wounded girl, I had a painful childhood growing up in an alcoholic & dysfunctional home. For many years I've lived in anger but could never pin point why I was so angry, it would plague me continually that I held this deep dark secret. I felt if anyone ever knew how quickly I could explode I would be rejected. 

I never paid attention to the fact that for 12 years I had someone who never left me. My husband continued to love & accept me with all my faults, of course he has his issues too but this post isn't about his problems.

Besides, regardless of what The Hubby does God calls me as his wife to honor, respect, & revere him. There will be a day when I stand before the LORD accountable for my actions & I'll be all alone. I wont be able to say "but did you see what he did?" "did you hear what he said"

It wont matter at that point because God's word is infallible & I can't make excuses for my behavior.

Only recently I've begun to open my eyes to the damage I have done to my marriage & family, for years I've made excuses for my behavior & the truth is I have no good excuse.

Yes, I am a very wounded person both by my own hands & the hands of others but I have a choice...do I live in bondage or walk in freedom??

Due to some recent events in my life I have finally chosen freedom, I have made the decision to love my husband with abandon. And ya know what? It's beautiful, he really is an amazing man!! We haven't had one single argument in weeks because the truth is I've decided I would rather be married than right. Does this mean I'm not entitled to my opinion? No.

It just means my opinion can hold a lot more weight if I deliver it correctly. What man wants to be hollered at because he's making the wrong choice? What man will rise up in leadership if he's constantly being questioned? The truth is ladies our men NEED us to be their cheerleaders. They NEED to know that even when the whole world is against them that they can come home to a friend that loves them unconditionally. Our men NEED to know we admire them & believe in them & they NEED to know that they can make a mistake & still be loved. 

My husband is a gift from God & it's taken me 12 long years to receive that gift. I mourn & grieve over all the time lost & praise God that we wont be old & grey still fighting. I enjoy laughing with him & cuddling up with him. The truth is now I feel as though I can't get enough of him, I'm falling in love. 

Ladies, I encourage you to pray & pray hard for the pains that you carry that are effecting your marriage. We are all broken in one way or another & satan seeks to destroy the family, the best way to do that is to start with the parents. For the few men that are reading this I encourage you to actively pursue your wife, my husband began doing that regardless of my actions & I have never felt more loved. He loved me through God's heart & that gave me self worth I didn't believe I could ever have. 

There is a scripture I believe applies to this & I hope you feel it's true impact.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. 

Deuteronomy 30:19

What will you choose?

The Blessed Supermom

Smooshed Pop Tarts In My Sofa

So I'm just sitting here nice & chill when I notice what appears to be cracker crumbs on the sofa, being the wonderful Supermom that I am I pick it up & clean the couch.
Wait, scratch that...I attempt to pick it up, turns out it's left over pop tart squished into the sofa.
Grrrrrr....
I don't know about you but I'm not real tickled about stuff like this especially considering I just washed the sofas a week ago.
Honestly our furniture doesn't look like it came straight out of a Martha Stewart magazine more like "Second Hand & Faded Decor" but I like it...sorta.
Either way, I do like clean. Just ask my kids, I'm a wee bit nuts about it.
Well, thankfully this time instead of seeing red & howling like a wild banshee I tried to put it into perspective.
See I have a sticky sofa right now, & in the past there has been pb&j fingerprints on my window & then there's the occasional mysterious underwear in the bathroom....hidden behind the toilet...with unmentionable contents.

Well, this is the season of my life.

There's gonna be a time when I'm not wincing because I've stepped on an oh so pointy toy, or washing dirty little fingerprints off the wall.
And ya know what?? I don't really like the thought of that. Sure, I like the thought of being alone with The Hubby but when all my babies are grown & there's no more wee people in my home there will be just a bit less laughter to listen to.

So I suppose the sticky couch will just have to get washed again, and I'll try my best not to get loopy when it gets a special dose of kiddy attention.

The Blessed Supermom

Nell My Belle

This is my favorite niece in the whole wide world! Well she's my only niece but if I had more she would be my fave.

This is Nell My Belle.

She is an awesome kid, all the qualities you would want in a young person. I mean don't get me wrong she's not perfect, I remember when I used to babysit her & she was going through a crying stage. This would be okay if she was two but she was like 5 or 6ish. She would just decide she'd had enough & wail her little head off, it was trying at the time but looking back it's kinda hysterical. I remember my inside joke that kept my sanity at the time which was it looked as though her jaw unhinged itself, I mean seriously she threw that little mouth open & was gonna let all the world know she was ticked! I know there was a perfect reason for the phase but I'm glad it's over =)

So that's an example of her imperfection & I'm sure I can think of some other funny stuff because aren't we all imperfect? I know Nella could tell more than a few stories about me but thankfully she doesn't have a blog =D

Let's get on to why this kid is so down right awesome.
First of all she loves my Piglet, she loves all the girlies but she is a little mama to the piggie. So attentive & so responsible, it's clear to me she is going to make a great Supermom one day. Then there's also the fact that she's growing into her own self. Does that make sense? She's not trying to be anyone other than Nel, & if you've read anything in this blog than you know I encourage my kids to be individuals. Yes, I teach them to seek after God with all their heart, souls & minds but I also want them to know that when your at the feet of God He doesn't care if your hair is blue. He is not going to rebuke & turn you away because you have tattoos or gauges in your ears. Unfortunately that is the thoughts of some & I'm glad Nella is clear on Gods unconditional love for her, she is young & learning to trust Him & be who she was created to be & also honoring the LORD.
Yes, I just ranted a bit but you get my point. I love Nel for who she is & who she will become. She is perfect the way God created her & I'm thankful that God blessed me with this little girl.

I love you Nell My Belle

The Blessed Supermom

My Special Day

Well, yesterday was my b-day. Yeup, another year older & wiser...ech, ach, hack, hack.
Excuse me but I was choking on that last word.

Anyway, I am a year older!! Although, yesterday was technically my birthday my family celebrated with me this past Sunday. I had a great day!
Big Daddy made me a rib eye, yummmmm....and all the girlies made me cards. We topped off the night with my favorite cake, celebrating advent, & watching a movie I promptly fell asleep too. It was a nice night. The Hubby had a little bit of a hard time because I had no pretty packages to unwrap, moneys tight right now. But truly, I'm okay with that. Sure I'm like anyone else & can't help but get a wee bit gitty when opening up a present but this year I got something better. I got to look at my kiddos heartfelt art work.
All my girlies spent a lot of time making me sweet cards. I'm one of those people who keeps cards, every...single...card. I have a very hard time tossing em'.
Especially if they're uber special. Really, I have stacks of cards. I wonder if there's a twelve step recovery program for out of control card keepers??
Anyway, when my girlies made cards for me it touched my heart. They're adorable & Cow being the oldest didn't just make something sweet she challenged me! See, Cow & I have had a competition going since she could speak. It starts with three simple words..."I LOVE YOU"

Then it turns into this...

I Love You Cow, more than the rainbow :)

My Bear made a cute card that initially confused me because there was a tracing of her hand print & a frowny face. She explained that it was the saddened turkey contemplating his impending doom. I think that's hysterical!! My eight year old managed in her beautiful little card to remember her mamas sick sense of humor :D
And it really was beautiful!
Look at the sweet little garden she drew for me with a little bling of course =)

Then she wrote me this poem...

God is great

God is good

He gave me my Mommy

Then my Monkey Girl gave me a card with a gergillion purple hearts (my favorite color is purple) and she drew crowns for both of us & pics of us together. Just me & her, alone time :) I gotta say, I love her little drawings done in pencil. This is my stinker cutie who wiggled her way in my heart =)

And last but most certainly not least my Piglet Princess toddled over & gave me this!

Is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen!! I was so tickled!! Look at the wee little polished piggie toes!! Eeeeeeeeee :)
Yes, I just squealed!

Big Daddy gave me the most wonderful gift he could give me...the day off!!
I didn't have to lift a finger! No dishes, no getting the girlies ready for bed, no cooking dinner.
Nothing!
It was awesome!
I honestly had a wonderful day :)
So for my birthday, as in the day I was actually born I washed a load of towels, giving a math quiz, peeling & mashing up taters & looking forward to next years birthday with my family doing the exact same thing.
Keeping it simple with some homemade cards, a little bit of cake, a movie, & maybe splurging on my once a year steak!
I love you my babies & my handsome man!
My birthday is wonderful because of the blessing of all of you in my life :)

The Blessed Supermom

The Honor Of Being Called Mommy

Many years ago I had a vision. No, not chandeliers shaking as a slow fog filled the room. But a vision nonetheless.

If asked as a teenager what my family would look when I grew up I often said I would have seven children & would stay home taking care of them.
Most times I got a sort of an eyebrow raised, nose in the air, tight lipped look. And that was from my friends!!
Forget the older women I told this to! They would just laugh & tell me how naive I was & that once I had ONE baby I would change my mind real quick!!
Wow! What a discouragement!!
Here I am, this young girl with a beautiful God given vision & my friends with some family as well were trying to steal it.
Remember, satan comes to steal, kill, & destroy & he will use whatever means necessary to do just that. Including you're sweet little old neighbor down the street.
I see this happening with my daughter. She is around the corner from turning seventeen & she longs to have a large family & stay home with her babies. However, there is already so much opposition to that "lofty dream"
She has already been told it's impossible. That breaks my heart for her.
Often times she'd smile & says she wants twelve children, but lately she says "as many God wants to give me"
That statement makes me so proud of her because she's putting faith in God for an area that seems to be "off limits" to Him.
Now, will she follow through on this mindset? I like to think so but I can't control her life or her walk with God. All I can do is present to her His Word, pray for her, be an example to her, and trust God for the rest.

It is an honor to be called "Mommy" I'm so thankful my daughter sees that.



The Blessed Supermom

Remembering Anguish, Reminded Of Grace

OK, this is gonna be a long one, a really long one. So grab a cup of coffee & put your feet up. Where to begin?
How about September 16th 2008....that's when I met her.
Hannah..
Oh she was so small & perfect, sure she had her "owwies" but I loved her all the same. I only was allowed to hold her close to me for a short time before having to let go of her forever. Or at least til we met again in Heaven. I studied & memorized every detail I could. Her tiny little feet, her pouty red lips, & even her little tooshie =)
She was beautiful, my little girl.

Fast forward three years later, & I can't celebrate my Hannah. Not the way I'm used to, the way our family does. Some people think me strange for celebrating her "birthday" & honestly I'm really not concerned with what others think on the subject. She is my daughter after all & I love her no less then my other children. Every year since Hannah's death my family gets together & goes to the cemetery with balloons & decorations in hand. We leave a few special balloons for her & fancy up her marker. Then we have another set of balloons to decorate & send to Heaven.

After, we celebrate Hannah girl with an OREO ice cream cake....mmmmmm. This year however, I began leading the Pregnancy Loss Bible Study at church. Guess what the date of the first day of the study was???
September 16th..
That was rough, I so very much wanted to just bail & run. I wanted to go "see" my daughter & love on her & ask God to give her all sorts of kisses from Mama. But I had a responsibility & it was important. So there was a good measure of guilt when we went the following day, but that's OK. God's grace is sufficient & we made it through another celebration. One thing that left our hearts a bit sad was the confusion at the end of the whole thing. We always release our balloons one by one & this year I asked if everyone wanted to release them together. It appeared we were in agreement but it turns out The Hubby wasn't. However, he didn't want to upset me so he said nothing. Oh well... =(
Before the balloons were released the younger girls ribbons got tangled & my little monkeys' slipped out of her hand. She was so upset & began crying, in my haste to comfort her I said it's okay, we'll all let ours go now.
BAD IDEA...now we were all down in the mouth. See we have that special little moment with Hannah before letting go of the balloon.
Sometimes it's just plain hard & this time it felt almost like losing her all over again.
All because of a stupid balloon.

The rest of the day was hard & I was struggling with guilt & anger. I was remembering all this pain & anguish. All the "whys" were flooding back in & feelings were rising up. I wanted to scream & cry, it just wasn't fair. Part of me was getting that familiar feeling of bitterness & cynicism. It's a slippery slope, & very easy to fall down in that dark chasm. Thankfully, I have people in my life that help me process these emotions & move through them. Thankfully I have a God who is patient & loves me through anger & questioning.

Then He reminds me of His grace...

September 16th 2011 I ached for my daughter in Heaven & two weeks later it looked as though God may take her baby sister to be with Him as well. I walked into my little mucnhkins room after her nap & she gazed at me through the rails of her crib. Sweet little thing looked so exhausted, she was getting over a bout with the stomach flu so I wasn't surprised that she wasn't real chipper. I was a little perplexed that she let me walk out of the room for an outfit to dress her in. She normally doesn't let me out of her sight after nap time but again I figured she was just out of sorts. When I got munchkin on the changing table I was somewhat concerned at her behavior. She just wasn't "right" I sat her up & she tipped a bit before up righting herself. I laid her back down & asked her to touch her nose which she did but then wouldn't show me anything else..eyes, ears, toes, etc. I stood her on the floor & she took two steps up & reached her for me so at this point I'm questioning myself & wanting to believe she's just really really tired. When I got her back on the changing table though she was acting lethargic & her arms were flopping down when I picked them up.
At this point I called 911 & explained the situation, I then called my husbands company & let them know our daughter would be going to the ER. Now mind you during these phone calls my sweet babe was getting progressively worse. She began shutting her eyes & wouldn't respond to me at all.

That's when the screaming began.

I can't tell you the terror of seeing what you think may be your child slipping away. I had no clear thought as to why this could be happening, all I knew was her eyes were glazed over & far away & as I screamed her name while 2 inches from her she continued closing her beautiful eyes. All I remember was screaming to her & screaming "please God, please please" At some point I called my sister hysterically & left a message which I assume was disturbing. Within minutes paramedics were in my house & one of them was telling me to calm down, I then continued my hysteria by screaming at them. However, his being calm did help for the moment. He told me to change her diaper then get the kids together to meet him & the baby downstairs in the ambulance.

Ever have that surreal feeling? Like you're in a movie & none of this can really be happening, everything is moving in slow motion? I thought that was just some dramatic thing people said. It's not.
That's how it felt when I walked past the ambulance & saw my baby girl laying there. All flopped in the stretcher barely coherent being poked at with needles. She didn't even care. I was terrified & felt so helpless. My sister pulled up & took my girls in the house for me as I went with my daughter to the ER. By the way, did you know that ambulances aren't like in the movies either? Family doesn't sit in the back with their loved one. No they sit in front & can't see a thing, nothing. All I knew was my munchkin was being frighteningly quiet. Shouldn't she fuss at least a little bit?? I was told her blood sugar was low, 30 to be exact & they need to get an IV in her to bring her back to a normal level.

Terrible things run through your mind when there's nothing to do but think. The paramedic that was taking care of her kept talking to me. Telling me he understood because he had four kids..*smile at the hysterical lady* I know he was trying to keep me calm which only scared me more because I was sure something was very wrong if he was being so assuring. Finally I asked if she was OK & he answered "she's stable" & that just freaked me out more. I know what "stable" means. It means things are alright for now but that doesn't mean it'll stay that way. I've seen enough hospital television dramas to know that (that was my weak attempt at a joke)
I think he could see he wasn't helping so then he told me "she'll be OK, I promise" I looked him dead in the eye & said "I'm trusting you" & he understood. Once we got to the hospital nurses were buzzing all over her. The heart monitor was put on & vitals were taken. They kept asking me questions I couldn't answer, I couldn't think. The one & only thing on my mind was "please God, please" They asked me some question & I went blank, I cried & said I didn't know what day it was. My Hubby came & put his arms around me & I'm sure he said sweet things but I can't remember.
It took about an hour & she started to perk up some, she began drinking juice & wanted to eat. The best thing is when the nurse came in to check on her & she wailed like a banshee. That was the most wonderful cry I'd heard since she was born.

We stayed overnight & it was then I found out the gravity of the situation we'd just endured. We were told that her sugar wasn't low long enough to cause brain damage but had we not brought her in it could have. We were told she could have had seizures & slipped into a coma. I was told that I moved fast & that was very good. Up to that point I questioned whether I was over reacting & now I'm glad for the choices I made.

Looking back on that morning I can see God's hand & how He arranged things. Whenever my little girl gets up from a nap she is in one of two moods. Either super clingy or super ticked. It's rare that she smiles sweetly & runs off to play. So when I heard her squeaking in the room my brain went into hyper mode of all the things that had to get done & how long I had to do it. I figured I had 15 minutes tops to do some dishes, wipe the counters, & peel potatoes. But for some out of the norm reason I thought I needed to pick up my princess.
That was the nudging of the Spirit.

Then there was the 911 call. Normally I would of called my husband first to get his input. I know a lot of people think why wait? Why not just go with you're gut? Simply put, when I'm running on emotions I can't think clearly & don't always make the best decisions. I don't think I'm the only woman in that category.
Can I get an Amen??
But in this case I didn't call him & instead called for help, something I wouldn't ordinarily do. Again, the Spirit.

At this point we're not real certain why any of this occurred. It's likely my baby was just not getting enough glucose in her diet because of her lack of appetite. It was the first time I've experienced this with a sick child, I didn't know the sugar could drop so drastically or so quickly. During our overnight stay some other tests were run but most of them have already come back favorable.
So how do these two events tie together?

Well, I had a lot of time to think at the hospital. It wasn't too easy to sleep even though my princess was slumbering peacefully. I just kept staring at her & thinking "why" But this time the bitterness didn't rise up, instead it was gratitude. Instead of thinking "why me God? How could you?" I thought "why me God, THANK YOU"

How many parents don't get to take their child home? Through the loss of my babies I've come to know way too many mothers that left the hospital with empty arms. I'm one of those moms. And through God's grace my daughter came home. Am I saying she was at deaths door? I really can't say, nor will I entertain the thought. All I know is it was dangerous, it was serious, & it was terrifying.

O praise God for His mercy. Praise Him for the blessings we look over daily. For the cries we long to quiet but then ache to hear. Praise him for jelly stained cheeks & sticky fingers. Praise Him for dirty diapers, temper tantrums, & pouty faces.

Praise Him.


The Highly Blessed Supermom

Sorrow & Beauty

What am I thankful for? This question rang in my mind as I read a blog post at Heavenly Homemaker's on gratitude. I never knew about this link up & I feel now it was God's sweet reminder of sorrow & beauty. 3 years ago this upcoming Friday (16th) my beautiful Hannah girl went straight from being nestled in Mama's tummy to being cradled in Jesus arm's. Her little heart stopped beating after 6 months. That was the most painful season of my life, Hannah Joy's big brother Isaac had just went to Heaven under the same circumstances only 7 months earlier. Losing Isaac was painful, more than words can describe, but when Hannah died it was like getting kicked when you're down. We were still grieving Isaac & the wound was so fresh, it was torn open & I felt beaten, being left for dead. At times I felt like giving up, I wanted to just lay down & die. But God never left me, He fought through the haze that was my mind & my broken heart speaking life into my tattered soul. It took a very long time to recover & to this day I'm still recovering the loss of my children. I believe I will not be fully restored until the day I stand before my Lord & Savior. So what am I thankful for? I'm thankful for my God who never leaves, never forsakes, My Abba Father. I am thankful for my best friend, My husband. Who bore the brunt of this storm on his back & carried me to the feet of Jesus when I was too weakened to stand. I am thankful for my beautiful sister. She did everything I couldn't for my babies, she made difficult, painful, & wretched days into meaningful, grace filled peace. I'm thankful for my daughters. My three girls who lived through this pain with me, they are forever changed & have a strong love & devotion to one another. And they're unborn children. I am thankful that after walking through the valley of the shadow of death...He gave us HOPE. My beautiful girl Hope Joanna Jensen was born alive & well February 9th 2010. Her cries were the most beautiful sound I've heard this side of Heaven. Today & everyday, I am thankful that God chose me to be His child, that He chose this path for me. I am being created to be more like His son through the trials He has put before me. My God is good, He is beautiful, I love Him beyond measure.

The Blessed Supermom

Perspective

Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests. Proverbs 14:4

Being a Mommy is a lot of work.
There are dishes to be done, dinner to cook, laundry to wash, boo-boos to kiss, monsters to scare, stories to read...the list is endless.
One thing I think all of us Mama's can relate to is...the MESS!! No matter how well organized you are or how early you wake up in the morning, there is something to clean. Whether it be your husbands breakfast plate, a stray pair of socks hiding in the bathroom, or maybe a little toy on the floor that is just aching for your bare foot to step on it.
There is ALWAYS something.
I feel perspective is important in this area, to continually remind ourselves this is a season of life. That while our children are small we are in the season of training them to be independent & learn to pick up after themselves as well as be a help to Mama. After all, these 4 daughters of mine are going to be keepers of their homes & they need to know how to run that home.
At times I'm not that great at this, I can get really upset with my kids & take things personal, I begin to feel taken advantage of.
How many times do I have to say do this or do that?
How many toy explosions do I hafta maneuver through?
How much hardened toothpaste do I hafta wipe off the sink??? grrrrr....
It can get more than frustrating.
And then lo & behold...pooh happened.
Seriously...poop.
Let me paint you this picture.
There you are, eating lunch as the baby naps. She begins to fuss just a bit to let you know "hey, I'm awake over here, come get me"
Well, you decide to take a few more minutes to finish munching & after a little bit you realize she's settled down.
Cool!! You can clean up the dishes & get her lunch ready too!
Nice, it feels good to know you have things under control right??
Ha! Silly Mommy...did you think this painted picture was so neat & tidy??
Nope, there's the poop remember?
Well, as you gingerly walk into the room there's your sweet little one, covered in last nights dinner.
This was my happy surprise from my Munchkin. Wanna see??

Notice how her hands are clenched? She was squishing it...like play dough!! It was all over the bed, her legs, up her arms, & on her "babies"
UGH...this situation required quick action, but seriously I couldn't find a clean patch of skin so I could at least get her outta the crib! Sooo, I did what Mommie's do I picked up my pooh covered baby & ended up pooh covered myself. Well, just my hands but hey, that's bad enough. I stuck her straight in the tub diaper, jammies & all. And although she eventually became clean we had to dodge all the floating pooh...yeah you can gag here a little if you need to. So after she was rinsed I had to wash the tub & scrub her again. All along I had my little Monkey running back & forth grabbing bags for the diapers, wipes, paper towels, gloves, gas mask, hazmat suit. OK, OK...there wasn't a hazmat suit but I'm seriously thinking of looking for one on Ebay.
Now, mind you during all this my sweet Bear is stripping the crib, from the bathroom, I could hear her dry heaving, & gagging. If she did get any sort of words out it was simply "EeEeeeWwwww.."
I gotta say, this daughter of mine...she's awesome cuz I can say without a doubt that at 8 years old you couldn't pay me to handle my sisters poop covered sheets. Then again my sisters 6 years older than me so if she had poop covered sheets for me to clean that woulda been downright scary!
Anyway, as I cleaned all this poop I was reminded of the above scripture..

Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests. Proverbs 14:4

Basically what the verse is saying is things get messy. Life is messy, ministry is messy, kids are messy. Sure I can have a clean home, & no poop adventures. But then my manger would be empty...& that my friends is a painful thought.
What I absolutely love is the promise of the strong Ox & it's abundant harvest. See, my kids are like the oxen, right now they're little messy animals but as I train them & raise them to be strong in the LORD, the harvest reaped will be plentiful.
So, for the time being..I will clean butts, wipe noses, scrub behind ears as well as wash the same plate 42 times in one single day, sweep under the table, & a million other seemingly tedious tasks. However, I will keep a thankful heart for my messy manger full of little animals that have captured my heart.

The Blessed Supermom

Painful Owies, A Lesson In Forgiveness, & A Serious Lack of Sleep

Picture this, you're peacefully driving along when your hubby calls you, gingerly you pick up the phone, "Hi baby! " Instantly it's apparent something is wrong, there's fear in his voice, hysterical screaming in the background & he's saying "you need to get home, you need to get home right now"

Well, this is how my evening began. The Hubby called me & he was obviously afraid, now let me just pause here & say I've learned to take my sweet hubby's reactions with a grain of salt at times. Not because his feelings don't matter but sometimes his reactions...hmmmm...shall we say can be a wee bit scary. For example a year ago I had a sudden seizure & The Hubby ran to me yelling "she smashed her face"
I didn't smash my face but that's what he thought so that's what he said & after many years with him I've gotten used to waiting the whopping one minute it takes for him to rethink his statement. But this time he wasn't wavering, he was scared & you could here it in his voice. He was also very calm which made me very nervous. He told me that my 4 year old pushed my 8 year old, I thought "OK, is it that bad? Did she break a bone" Turns out Monkey pushed her off the toilet that she was standing on right into the bathtub. My sweet Bear landed on her back banging her head as the shower curtain & rod fell atop her stomach.
I told him to get her ready & that I would take her to the ER, I just had altogether a bad feeling. Now, I'm not the Mama in the hospital every other week, I used to be but after all the flu's, twisted ankles, & mystery fevers 4 kids bring I tend more often than not to be Dr & Nurse.
However, with the fact that she was dizzy, nauseous, & "tired" this had head trauma written all over it.
Sooooo, I got home & brought my sweetness to the ER where they triage her quickly & the doc ordered a CT. After a short wait we met with doctor who checked her out both physically & neurologically, he said getting a CT wasn't the best option for my baby (radiation exposure) & that she had a concussion. What she needed was pain meds & plenty of rest.
I was glad Bear didn't need to go thru any tests & that we could go home.
Now, through all this mess...the fear, stress, & worry I was amazed at my daughters reaction to the ordeal.

She wasn't mad at her sister!! Ya know, the one who knocked her for a loop??!?!!??!!
Instead, she asked that we call her from the waiting room where she proceeded to tell her "I just wanna tell you I love you & I forgive you, even if you don't say you're sorry, I know you didn't mean to cause me all this trouble"
WOW! WEE!! WOW!! WOW!!!
I was floored!
How many times do I pout & hold a grudge against my husband just for lookin at me funny? Or worse yet how many times do I harbor resentment towards my children when they aren't behaving as they should??
My 8 year old taught me a huge lesson in forgiveness, she chose in her heart to forgive her sister & show her grace when she didn't deserve it, it amazes me because on the way to the ER she told me "Mommy, ya know that scripture you told us about yesterday? The one about God giving....ummmm, ummmm..oh yeah! Grace??I was just thinking about that"
She was referencing James 4:6 “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
I feel privileged to watch God's grace through my beautiful & humble little girl.
I'm very proud of my sweet princess, she had a terrible experience & came out of it with a few bumps & bruises but her heart was unscathed.
This Mama has had a very long night & the bed is calling out to me, it's only a few hours til the Wee Munchkin makes her presence known, so I leave you with this...
Today, when someone cuts you off, when you get that snide remark from the check out girl, when that one family member continues to treat you unfairly...remember the reaction of a little girl who had every right to get angry. She had every "right" to give the cold shoulder & hold a grudge, but instead she chose to be a blessing, not a curse..instead she chose to "be Christ" to another.

The Blessed Supermom

Happy "Golden" Birthday!!!

Today is a wonderful day...my sweet little girl is celebrating her "Golden Birthday"
My Princess is 8 years old!! I can't believe how blessed we are with this wonderful girl, I remember when she came into this world..ooOhhhhH!
She...was...mad!
She was crying so loud you could hear her down the halls, but as soon as she was in Mama's arms she was fine. That's a little how the past 8 years have been, she can get all worked up at times but she just loves to cuddle (with Mama) & when she's in my arms she's content.
I'm so proud of this little lady, she is only 8 years old today but you would think she was older if you had to guess, not because she looks it...oh no...she's still my lil peanut =)
But, because she is so responsible & helpful, she's ALWAYS so willing to help, my Princess helps me do dishes, laundry, cook, clean, & take care of her sisters. She really is a wonderful Godly woman in the making.
I love to call her my "gentle flower" because she has such a sweet spirit, she is so empathetic & sensitive to the needs of others. I always tell her we'll take care of her heart like a little "gentle flower" & she gets the sweetest most innocent smile.
Oh! I need to mention how much she loves God. It is by far the most amazing thing about her, she has such a sweet abandon for Him, I can just see God smiling as she worships Him. She has a real desire to know Him more & it amazes me every day.

My Sweet Beautiful Little Girl...I love you more than you can imagine. You are such a wonderful little person & I believe with all my heart you're going to do amazing & awesome things in your life. I know you love God & sweet girl...keep on loving Him because He loves you sooooo much He sent His son to die for you. You mean that much to Him Mamita. I want you to always remember that you're Mama loves you & likes you too, I think you're a beautiful example to your sisters & a great "encourager" You fill my heart with joy & I can never get enough huggies & kissies from you. Beautiful Princess, don't ever change because you are perfect just the way you are.
Happy "Golden" Birthday Sweetness.....

Isn't She Lovely....

16 years ago I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. I was already so in love with this little person before I'd seen her & when I finally did she took my breath away.

Last Saturday we celebrated the past 16 years we've been blessed with this wonderful princess. Let me tell you, it was no small event, it was quite a celebration!!
All the girls had lots of fun getting dolled up for the soiree...

My Princess wore a beautiful gown, tiara, & some homemade bling =) She was the star of the show & she looked amazing!!

The night's events started with our Pastor praying a blessing over our young lady & she then committed her purity to her father as he gave her a ring to signify that vow. My Princess then entered the hall with her court & they all performed a dance for us. Then her father & I exchanged her smaller tiara for a larger one & her slipper for a heeled shoe. Both of these traditions signify stepping into womanhood.

She then danced with her Daddy, oh...it was so beautiful, I felt like I was gonna just cry my heart out. I didn't of course because it was her day...their moment. But, here was my sweet little girl...all of a sudden this amazing woman & she was so happy & content in the arms of her Daddy.

It was beautiful.....
After all this it was time to party!
My little girl (not as little anymore) danced all night with all her friends & had a ball!!

We all stayed up til the wee hours of the night, well....some of us stayed up.....

We ate too much food, danced too silly, & laughed lots, it was a wonderful night!

One I know my Princess will remember for the rest of her life.
I love you, my Baby....

A Letter to My Daughter...Happy Birthday!!

Hi My Sweet Girl...

Today you are one year old!

Time has gone by so quickly, It feels as though just yesterday I saw your sweet face for the first time. You were so tiny & beautiful, absolutely perfect...

I was so very nervous about meeting you, I just didn't know what to expect. God had taken your big brother Isaac & your big sister Hannah to Heaven with Him, so I was anxious to hold you in my arms & kiss you. Daddy was so wonderful to me & prayed & helped me to stay calm. I remember looking at your beautiful little poofy face, you were so amazing. Daddy looked in your eyes & said "just a few hours ago these eyes were looking into the faces of Angels"

What an amazing thought!!
Now, here we are...one year later.

My beautiful girl, you changed my life...God used you to give me Hope when I was so broken. You are a wonderful gift & I'm so thankful for you. I have loved every moment with you, all 525,949.2 of them =)
I'm happy with all the sleepless nights, all the pacing, bouncing, & fussiness. I'm thankful for all the smiles, giggles, squeals, & laughter.
I love you more & more everyday!!
Happy Birthday my Beautiful One!

The Blessed Supermom

True Treasures Review

Hi!
I'm so excited to tell you all about this most awesome gift I received! But first let me give you a lil back story. A few months back I started following Mrs. Lorrie Flem on Facebook, she is an awesome SUPERMOM. She has a wonderful publication by the name of Eternal Encouragement
(formerly TEACH magazine)
I'm always so encouraged by her updates & posts.
So when Lorrie asked if their were any bloggers out there that would consider reviewing materials I jumped at the chance. I can not tell you how ecstatic I was when I was approved to be one of The Gabby Moms !!
I anxiously awaited the mailman looking for my first project. Naturally, it came in God's perfect timing, just after Christmas.
When I was nice & burnt out =)
Here I sat on my sofa opening up a package addressed to me & it didn't even cross my mind that it was from Mrs. Flem. Imagine my joy when I looked upon this beautiful book wrapped in a sweet little bow.

I felt like a child opening up that oh so special present Christmas morn. And let me tell you this book has been a wonderful gift!!
Where do I begin?? There is just so much packed into these 104 pages. There are 6 chapters full of wisdom from Godly Women Such as...
Shelley Noonan
Marilyn Boyer
Nancy Nolan
And of course Lorrie too!
Topics include everything from strengthening your marriage to parenting to successful homeschooling. I really loved the regal theme of this book, following the title True Treasures, the chapters titles are as follows

Chapter 1~Jewels That Make the Heart Sparkle
Chapter 2~Marriages of Solid Gold
Chapter 3~Parenting Pearls:Practical & Priceless
Chapter 4~Homemaking That Dazzles Like Diamonds
Chapter 5~ Homeschooling Nuggets of Wisdom
Chapter 6~Godly Living That Glitters

As I read these articles I felt...well, like a princess!! Being handed all these precious jewels, I am a Daughter of The King right?? =)
This book has been a wonderful blessing & an amazing encouragement. I have gotten so many practical ideas on homemaking & just being a good mama. I'm certain I will pour over this book time & time again in the years to come.
I highly recommend stopping over at http://www.homemakingwithteach.com/
& picking up your own copy of True Treasures. The regular price is $19.99, but if you order before May 31st 2011 you can get $4.00 off by entering the code GabbyMom at checkout. (Only 1 use per customer and per order.)
And while your there be sure to check out all the absolutely wonderful resources offered.

In closing, this book has brought me to tears as I've felt convicted by the Holy Spirit. It has reminded me of God's continual provision & strength. And most importantly it has reminded of the high calling & blessing it is to be called "Mommy"

The Blessed Supermom~


“I received this product for honest review from TEACH Magazine as a part of The Gabby Moms blogging program. All opinions expressed are solely my own.”

A Prayer For The New Year

Walking into this New Year I had a lot of thoughts of what to post about. But just now in some quiet time I had with God I realized all I really want to do is pray, so that's what I did.
I'd like to pray for you right now too....
Father God, I come before you thanking you for my dear friends. I thank you God for each person reading this post & how you brought them into my life. Lord I feel really led to pray for those of my friends that are wounded. Father, so many are hurting, so many are in pain tonight.
I have friends that are reading this who have empty arms & they are longing for their little ones. Lord, I cry out to you asking that as they enter into this new year that you would bring healing to their heart, soul, & minds. That they would feel the peace that surpasses all understanding & the power of your restoration. I ask this in Jesus matchless name.
Lord, there are others reading this that are broken in spirit. The trials of this past year were overwhelming & my friends are weakened. I ask God that you would strengthen them by the power of the Holy Spirit. Father you are mighty & able, please pour out your Spirit on your children.
Lord, I come to you on behalf of those that are ailing. Lord, you are the Mighty Physician. I ask Lord that you would bring healing to their bodies. Father, that you would touch them miraculously & that you would get all the Glory.
I pray Father for those feeling condemned & ashamed. Those that are unsure of who they are in Christ. Let them know Lord that your mercy is new every morning & that you hold every tear they cry in your Mighty hands.
Lord, please let these wounded broken hearts know that you will never leave them, never forsake them. That you love unconditionally & cherish them dearly. Lord, help them have the courage to release what they "feel" & be free in the knowledge of their loving ABBA FATHER.
Most of all Lord I pray for my friends that are lost. Lord, for those that may be reading this, wondering what is that ache in their heart? Wanting to know what will fill the emptiness?
Lord, I pray they would come to know Jesus as their Savior. I pray you would use me Lord in their lives however you see fit. Give me the courage to be bold for you. Fill my mouth with the words their ears need to hear.
I praise you Lord for the year to come. I step out in faith that 2011 will be a wonderful year. I believe & claim this for not only myself & my family but for my friends as well.
In Jesus Holy Name....AMEN

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Cookie Chaos & A Merry Christmas

Well, I haven't been posting, sorry bout that.
It's been more than a wee bit chaotic over here. See, I resolved in '09 that I was going to join in the Cookie Baking Bonanza. Last year I noticed so many of my Face Book friends were posting about cookie baking everyday. Now, don't get me wrong...I bake. Really, The Cow & I are always tearin' up the kitchen makin' all sortsa goodies for family parties. But their appeared to be some exclusive club that I hadn't entered into.
So alas, this holiday season...I earned my stripes.
For over a week the girls & I cracked eggs, rolled dough, cut shapes, burned fingertips & wiped tears.

This was hard!!!

I couldn't believe how sore I had became! Honestly, I can't bend anymore.
The Hubby & I expressed our feelings at times with our decorating....

these were his "Gingerbread Men"

And here's "Mama Ginger"

But, I hafta say..it was totally worth it. We made soooo many cookies & yea, some dough ended up straight in the can. And maybe our iced sugar cookies aren't picture perfect but seeing the girls all smiles makes me happy =)

And hey! I think they did a really good job.....

Even the Wee Munchkin was thoroughly enjoying the cookie madness.....

I know there will be a day when my girls are grown & in homes of their own & I'll long for the days of having them on my lap covered in flour giggling at each other.

Until then,
I'll accept my fingers will get singed from time to time....
I'll step in frosting....
I'll wince at my aching back.....
I'll laugh as my babies eat waaay too much sugar.

From my house to yours...MERRY CHRISTMAS

Blessing Others & Ourselves Too

So the girls & I had a great time working on a shoe box for our Operation Christmas Child. First we went & bought a bunch of stuff for our little girl, I thought maybe this year we'd make a shoe box for a boy but what can I say...they like girly stuff.
We did hit a few snags though. Like I couldn't find a shoe box!
Normally I buy a gift box, well...it's not exactly a gift box. More like a decorated keep sake Christmas themed box thing-a-ma-jig. And it's bigger than a shoebox so getting a few more items is no big deal. However, this time I couldn't find one of those boxes so I opted for a regular ole shoe box. No biggie right??
Wrong, seems you need to call shoe stores ahead of time because they toss 'em. I mean right away, they tear em' up & toss them!! UGH!
So I figure OK, quick run to the dollar store to pick up a plastic shoe box with lid & we're set.
Wrong again.
Dollar store is all out.
So I'm ready to just sit down & cry, Oh did I mention this is Saturday & I need to turn the box in Sunday at church??
OK, where was I? Oh yea, I'm gonna throw a weeping hissy fit.
However, I remember that I have one of those plasticky box thingys at home, it's full of little toy animals but all I gotta do is empty it (where?? I dunno).
So, finally I get home & we're ready. I get the girls & we lay out all the toys, crayons, notebook paper, etc. That's when I noticed it, we had too much stuff. I just didn't know how in the world we we're gonna get all that stuff in there,
The Bear had all sorts of ideas & The Monkey gave up

Thankfully, the Hubby saved the day. He has an uncanny knack for packing things. I mean give him 20 clowns & a compact car & he'll get them in there, so naturally he took over. He & Bear sat there for a good 45 minutes putting things in & rearranging & sure enough every single item fit!! YAY!
Bear was so very happy & so was The Hubby, I think they were both really proud of what they'd done & that they did it together...

I was really proud too, but I was most proud of what happened next. Hubby took Bear on his lap & said it was time to pray. They both laid there hands on the box & prayed that the little girl receiving it would be blessed, feeling the love of Christ & come to salvation. Hubby took the moment to teach Bear to remember to be Christ to others, to be His hands & feet and to be "The Good Samaritan"

I'm really in love with that guy...oops sorry. Wandered off for a moment =)
I'm really blessed to have a man who knows to take every moment he can with his children & be an example of Godliness. I'm very happy with my little girl too, she's got a huge heart & it belongs completely to God.