Falling In Love With My Husband

More often then not when I blog it's about my children & rightfully so, my blog is titled Confessions of a Supermom. But I'm feeling I need to share about my husband today. I can truly say I've had more then a tumultuous marriage, in part due to my bitter choices. 

I have held his wrong choices against him & chosen to live in the past rather then trust God for my future. I came into this marriage a very wounded girl, I had a painful childhood growing up in an alcoholic & dysfunctional home. For many years I've lived in anger but could never pin point why I was so angry, it would plague me continually that I held this deep dark secret. I felt if anyone ever knew how quickly I could explode I would be rejected. 

I never paid attention to the fact that for 12 years I had someone who never left me. My husband continued to love & accept me with all my faults, of course he has his issues too but this post isn't about his problems.

Besides, regardless of what The Hubby does God calls me as his wife to honor, respect, & revere him. There will be a day when I stand before the LORD accountable for my actions & I'll be all alone. I wont be able to say "but did you see what he did?" "did you hear what he said"

It wont matter at that point because God's word is infallible & I can't make excuses for my behavior.

Only recently I've begun to open my eyes to the damage I have done to my marriage & family, for years I've made excuses for my behavior & the truth is I have no good excuse.

Yes, I am a very wounded person both by my own hands & the hands of others but I have a choice...do I live in bondage or walk in freedom??

Due to some recent events in my life I have finally chosen freedom, I have made the decision to love my husband with abandon. And ya know what? It's beautiful, he really is an amazing man!! We haven't had one single argument in weeks because the truth is I've decided I would rather be married than right. Does this mean I'm not entitled to my opinion? No.

It just means my opinion can hold a lot more weight if I deliver it correctly. What man wants to be hollered at because he's making the wrong choice? What man will rise up in leadership if he's constantly being questioned? The truth is ladies our men NEED us to be their cheerleaders. They NEED to know that even when the whole world is against them that they can come home to a friend that loves them unconditionally. Our men NEED to know we admire them & believe in them & they NEED to know that they can make a mistake & still be loved. 

My husband is a gift from God & it's taken me 12 long years to receive that gift. I mourn & grieve over all the time lost & praise God that we wont be old & grey still fighting. I enjoy laughing with him & cuddling up with him. The truth is now I feel as though I can't get enough of him, I'm falling in love. 

Ladies, I encourage you to pray & pray hard for the pains that you carry that are effecting your marriage. We are all broken in one way or another & satan seeks to destroy the family, the best way to do that is to start with the parents. For the few men that are reading this I encourage you to actively pursue your wife, my husband began doing that regardless of my actions & I have never felt more loved. He loved me through God's heart & that gave me self worth I didn't believe I could ever have. 

There is a scripture I believe applies to this & I hope you feel it's true impact.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. 

Deuteronomy 30:19

What will you choose?

The Blessed Supermom

History In The Making *UPDATE*

Tomorrow, I'm taking my kids & making a stand. Tomorrow, my children will witness firsthand a hearing in which Senate Bill 136 will be discussed. SB 136 may not ring any bells for you, but for us Illinois Homeschoolers it's the "hot topic"
Simply put, back in January Senator Edward Maloney filed a bill in reference to non-public private schools (homeschools are in this category) mandating registration. Now, what's the big deal with registering right?? Really, "if you have nothing to hide, why can't you register your children"

I'm making an angry face right now...

Well, let me 'splain a few things. Senator Maloney has stated that homeschoolers in Illinois should be registered with their local school districts and admitted that he doesn't understand why they are so opposed to his newly-introduced SB 136.

"We're not going for the private school students, we're going to change that [in the proposal]. What we want to know is where the homeschoolers are. It's as simple as that," Maloney said from his Springfield office.

Well, why?? Plain & simple...why??
Why does the state have any say so over where my children are? Why should Senator Maloney have any control over how a free private individual chooses to raise their child. This is not a police state, in fact we live in a country founded on liberty & freedom so again I ask...why??

Now, it doesn't just stop at registration, it appears that way but it's so much more. Background checks & fingerprints run on the teachers A.K.A. mommy, attendance records, teaching diversity....ummm, no.

And so on & so on. This really is just getting a foot in the door of our households & I honestly feel it's a money issue as well. Do you know how much money the state of Illinois spends per child???

A whopping $8, 000 bux! And that's just an average, it can range from $5,000 to $18,000. Oh! And by the way, the numbers I'm giving you are from back in '07.
So basically if we go with the low end here, $5,000 & it was 2007 then the state would be losing 10 grand a year from my family alone. Considering, I've been homeschooling 4 years, that's at the very least $40,000.

It has been more than well determined all across this nation that government run education programs have been deemed high-priced failures. How much money has been spent to date?? Yet there are countless studies, proposals, suggestions and plans all across the nation to improve public education, still the public school students in this country continue to fall behind their peers in other nations.

Now, can you could understand how I, who have stayed out of government run education might be opposed to that same government now attempting to insert itself into my own freely chosen and clear education methods.

Tomorrow, thousands of Illinois homeschoolers will make a stand for our God given freedom. Tomorrow, my children will see History in the Making...

* Unfortunately my family was unable to attend, things fell through at the last minute. However, the Capitol was flooded with 4,000 homeschoolers...

The Home School Legal Defense Association stated that this was the largest turn out they've witnessed, many came to peacefully demonstrate their opposition to the proposed bill. While waiting for the hearing to start, the crowd began to sing. Strains of "America the Beautiful," "God Bless America," "Amazing Grace," and "The Star-Spangled Banner" drifted into the committee room. I'm certain it was more than beautiful & no one present will ever forget the passionate crowd of parents, grandparents, & children singing, and the sense that their presence made a powerful statement in defense of liberty.

Those in favor of SB 136 began their testimonies, a truant officer stated that if our children were out of doors, they were considered "truant" & not in a teaching environment. He also stated that through registration he would have access to info to "check on us & offer his help"
When asked how would he knew whether or not a home school needed help he stated "the ones who are doing a great job won't let me go, they'll want me to come in. The ones who say we don't want you around, well then I need to take action"

Sir, I don't want you around....

Some senators worried about homeschoolers "falling through the cracks." The sad truth is that the public schools do not have the solution to "falling through the cracks!" Why have the least effective system of education supervise the most effective system?

I'd like to end this post with a quote from Scott Woodruff of HSLDA when testifying at Tuesday's hearing....

"You may have been surprised by the level of intensity & opposition to this bill. Many homeschoolers frankly, are content to focus on hearth & home. But, when their children are threatened, or their freedom is threatened, by a bill like 136. Ordinary folks are turned into political activists"

First, please..bring this before the Throne of God..ask for His blessing & favor.
If you haven't already...Please contact Sen. Maloney and ask him to withdraw--NOT AMEND--his bill.

Springfield Office:

Phone: (217) 782-5145

Fax: (217) 557-3930

Chicago Office:
Phone: (773) 881-4180
Fax: (773) 881-4243

Chicago Office:
10400 South Western Avenue
Chicago, Illinois 60643
Phone: (773) 881-4180
Fax: (773) 881-4243