Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Adventures in Potty Training

So, this adventure in the Zoo is actually over a year old but I came across it the other day & thought it was worth sharing. Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at 3:13pm

OK, so My Monkey is just too old to be runnin around in dipeys. She's about to turn 3 in 2 weeks & up until 2 days ago was refusing to use the potty. Now mind you I have attempted on several occasions to potty train my sweet & oh so innocent angel. However, The Monkey is afraid. Yep, that's right...terrified of poopin. Now, you gotta understand, she is a little, I mean tiny girl. She's a pixie. Unfortunately her # 2's are not!! She has a normal little 3 year olds appetite & can prove it in her diaper!! But enough bout that you get the picture, the point is, she's been really scared. We tried to potty train her a few weeks back. I talked it up somethin fierce with this little one, she was so excited to be a "Big Girl" Got all new drawers for her too!! Dora & Elmo were in high demand & Mommy swiftly ran to the store to pick them up. Don't forget the Disney Princess potty seat!! So, here we go, it's the day of reckoning & My Monkey Girl would sit on her little potty, ever so cute, "no pee-pee mommy" get up walk away...
then promptly go pee on MY bedroom floor!! Or better yet, there was the time I walked in, again...MY ROOM, to find a nice little pile of poop. We don't have a dog....
So, per my mama's advice we halted all training. Mainly so I wouldn't go completely bonkers.
So, in my potty hiatus I decided to do some research on potty training. With a skeptical eye I looked up everything I could on potty training, reading up on all the new fads. And lo & behold...I come across a book that claims, I repeat...CLAIMS, you can potty train your child in ONE DAY.
I checked it out from the local library & looked it over, the whole time thinkin "yeah, uh huh...right" It sounded too easy & impossible at the same time. I mean ONE DAY??? And of course, I have to buy stuff, not much, but none the less, a dolly that wets. So, OK, I'm thinkin, I have to at LEAST try. This kid can't be sportin a diaper much longer.
So here we are again, D-day. I shooed everyone out of the house so "Her Royal Monkiness" could have my undivided attention. And the sippy cup marathon commenced. As Monkey "trained" a dolly she was encouraged to drink...LOTS. The book also advised small candy rewards everytime she did somethin right, which was about every 2 seconds. So, here I am with an apron on chock full of jelly beans, & I'm poppin 'em in her mouth & jumpin up & down for just about anything. She caught on quick & was squealing & happy about her dolly bein dry. But, here's the catch, the whole time all this excitement is happenin, Monkey is steady "feeding" her baby. Member, this is a baby that wets, so it comes with a little bottle. So I get ready to pick up the baby & get all excited because "dollys dry" & guess what?? Dolly freakin leaked!! And I don't mean a little dribble, her little fake panties ballooned out from her plastic toosh!! So, I hafta figure out how to keep this from Mrs.Monkey, I pick up the plastic baby & wrap her in my apron. But wait a minute, my apron pockets are full of stupid jelly beans!! So now, I'm walkin around with a wet plastic baby & beans all over the floor & Monkey's screamin "yea!! Dolly's dry!!" Here I am desperately tryin to visualize a "happy place" as I paste on a grin...maybe I should just hold off. OK wait, I'm not givin up this early in the game. SO I try to keep Monkey excited about this potty training so I'm pumpin her full of candy & chocolate milk, & potato chips too, to keep her thirsty for more. Now in my zeal for diaper freedom, I didn't note the obvious, these snacks were an accident waitin to happen. I mean she NEVER eats like this. So I shouldn't of been surprised when she threw up all over me, but...I was. Go figure.
Apparently tho, this made her feel better & she WANTED to continue this potty escapade! She liked all the attention, so we continued & 5 hours later....SUCCESS!!
She is potty trained!!
Forget that it looks like a jelly bean war zone in my kitchen with chocolate milk explosions & the smell of vomit lingering in the air....she can pee in the potty. And I don't have to change anymore stinky diapers, she's no longer frightened of the end result from last nites mac n cheese.

In Him,
The Blessed Zookeeper

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Lord Of The Flies...

OK, so I have issues...with flies. While most people are scared of things like men with chainsaws & dogs foaming at the mouth, I am completely freaked out by flies. It's not that they're scary looking, I mean let's be real...they're ugly but not scary.
It's that they hate me...they're out to get me...
OK maybe not really but what if I'm right???
It started when I was a little girl, not even 10. I was at the beach & while my Dad, sis, & brother went for a swim I stayed back with Mommy. As my mom tried to relax & lay on the sand I proceeded to take on every single fly that had the audacity to land on her. Now get this picture in your mind...exhausted sweaty mama laying there as her caring albeit overzealous daughter beats the daylights out of her. So she kindly instructs me to please stop smacking her & find something else to do.
What did I find to do you ask???
I promptly stuffed my face with food & every other vile germ that the Fly Demons gave me. Naturally I became very ill. I mean knock down drag out stupid goofy sick. With all the symptoms I had the Dr asked my mama if I'd recently been to an underdeveloped country!!
Well, that little incident & a few others got me pretty paranoid around flies.

So the other day when flies decided to invade my home I completely wigged out. At first one buzzed past me & I got annoyed at the thought of dealing with the nasty thing. So, I stopped sitting around doing nothing & reached for my fly swatter. As I swatted at the evil insect of hell I realized it wasn't alone....it had brought many. In the span of 45 minutes I had killed roughly 12 flies!!!

I was a complete basket case, I mean screaming in fear as I swatted at these flies & The Bear & Monkey looked on laughing thinkin this was just hysterical. Once the hubby came home & saw my state he took over & prayed for my lunacy.

So in the past few days I've been cleaning. I mean O.C.D. deeeeep cleaning. Moving appliances, taking down curtains, pulling apart cabinets. Getting way down to the nitty gritty ya know? I kept thinkin there could be gross little fly babies hiding somewhere...EEEEEWEEWEWWWWWWW!!!!!

In my cleaning fervor I thought "God, what in the world am I to learn from this?? What can I possibly gain from bein down on my hands & knees cleaning everything inside & out because of nasty flies???"
He answered "SIN"
I'm being completely honest. It was clear as a bell.
I got to thinkin' when was the last time I put this much effort into cleaning out my heart? Have I really spent time going deep? Or has it just been the surface?
Get out my dishrag & do a quick once over thinkin "hmm... that looks good, I'll really get in there tomorrow"
Problem is, life happens & tomorrow never comes. Before ya know it, the heart which is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23) becomes over run with nasty buzzing thoughts & feelings which begin to overwhelm you. God's word encourages us to give Him access to our hearts.

Psalm 139:23-24 (King James Version)
23Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

So ladies, I ask you...when was the last time you went deep? When was the last time you allowed God to do a thorough cleaning? I encourage you to spend some time asking Him to bring to light what's beneath the surface.
It can & most likely will be messy & somewhat repulsive. But you'll be glad you did it.

The Blessed Zookeeper

Monday, July 12, 2010

My Wild Kingdom

Hello there!

Let me introduce myself, I am "The Zookeeper", better known as "Mommy"
I also respond to "Ma, Mama, MOTHER, & my least favorite...wwwhhhyyyyy????
I wanted to have a place where I could share mommy hood with other mama's who like me, are home. Trying my best to raise my little ones to love God with all their heart, soul, & mind.
However, on most days my home looks more like a zoo then anything even remotely close to God's design for family. At least that's my perception, probably not His so I suppose I shouldn't say that right?

Anyhoo, the names. Lemme explain the names.

My oldest is 15 & she's my Cow. And she'd be proud to say so (uh...maybe) Just for the record I asked her permission to blast her nickname over the Internet. She agreed =)
Her Daddy is most responsible for her nickname. When she was only about a year old he'd burst in the room callin "PoohGee Cow"....now let's get this right OK?
It's not Pooh Gee.
It's Pooh-"G", like "golly GEE willickers" OK?? Now that we've got that covered...
Anyway, she'd run right into his arms & a Cow became the sweetest animal ever to live in my home.
And like most Cows, she's reliable. I always know exactly where she is & can trust her. She's also very layed back. Real relaxed, the kinda person that takes things in stride unless of course she's having a bad cow day. We won't talk about that. Oh, & she sleeps standing up.

Then there's my 7 year old, she's the Bear....GRRRR...ARGH.
My Bear. Where do I begin? You would think the name says it all right? But not really. Sometimes she's like Pooh Bear. So sweet & cuddly. Cute as can be. Wants to just squish all up into your lap & be petted. Other times she's more like a wild angry brown bear... ready to tear you from limb to limb. What's intimidating is this girl is only 42 lbs & sometimes I'm not sure if I can take her!

Then, we have......The Monkey.
This is my 4 year old & she is somethin' else! Wow! She is goin miles a minute & barely stops to catch her breath, And yes! She climbs everything! I remember lookin out into the backyard to have a near heart attack to see my then 2 year old, & oh so dainty girl I might add, dangling on the tippy top of the fence.

And last but not least is my littlest & wee-est animal. We have yet to explore her inner beastly qualities. As of yet she's just a sweet little 5 month old tryin' to find her place in this family.

Well, I thought I'd kinda point out what I do & what I don't do. There seems to be a lot of confusion about stay at home moms. For example, we have many names. Such as housewife, homemaker, domestic goddess. Then there's the not so nice ones such as freeloader, uneducated, without goals.
But, I'm gonna stick with SUPERMOM. It fits...don't ya think??

So lets start with what I don't do.
I don't sit around all day eating bon-bons waiting for my husband to bring home the check so I can spend it. I don't hover over my kids & live solely & completely for them alone. I don't read the latest & greatest romance novels or watch daytime TV.
By the way, I heartily disagree with most everything that comes out of Oprah's mouth.

Now, to the good stuff. What I do.
I do adore my children, they're sweet little faces. Even teenager grins are good! I do run around like a maniac to "make myself purdy" before my hubby walks in the door from work. I do bake, grow a garden, & even make homemade yogurt. It all sounds super. But naaahhh....
Really, the most important thing I do is admit daily that I'm powerless. That I can't do this Mommy/Helpmate thing at all on my own.
You see I don't just have some "higher power"
I have the ultimate & most awesome power. I have the Blood of Jesus daily covering me in this adventure called motherhood.
Honestly, there are days when I forget & get caught up in the drudgery.
Yeah! I said it....drudgery, of life. Washing laundry Monday thru Friday only to come back to the same pile of dirty clothes the following Monday can get downright bland.

It's very easy to get caught up in myself.

However, I need to remember that when the dishes have been there 2 days, the laundry has grown horns & growls at me, my Monkey had an accident in the bathroom....again, my wee-est munchkin is howling to be fed & everything else is calling for my attention that I'm not doing any of this for me.

I'm doing it for Him.

To honor Him.
To praise Him.
To trust in Him.

He in His goodness has blessed me with this family. He has handed me these children & asked of me to love them, cherish them, & protect them. He has given me a husband who I can call my best friend & be thankful for.

So yes, I am "The Zookeeper"
My house is not the cleanest, my children aren't the best behaved, & my marriage isn't perfect.
But I thank God for all He's given me. It's far above what I could have ever dreamed possible.

I hope to grow in Him & I invite you to come along on all my adventures.
Some days will be good, some days may be bad, & some days will definitely be ugly!
But I'll always be honest & I hope that I can encourage you in your call to mommyhood.

I'd like to end with a scripture I think we can all relate to.
Ya know...at night when your zonked, just completely done. You've wiped noses & butts, dinner burned, phone was ringin all day & little people were just not co-operating. And here you are in bed....ahhh...sleep...."Ma??? Mom? MOMMMMEEEE!!!!!"

29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:29-31

In Him,
The Blessed Zookeeper