Falling In Love With My Husband

More often then not when I blog it's about my children & rightfully so, my blog is titled Confessions of a Supermom. But I'm feeling I need to share about my husband today. I can truly say I've had more then a tumultuous marriage, in part due to my bitter choices. 

I have held his wrong choices against him & chosen to live in the past rather then trust God for my future. I came into this marriage a very wounded girl, I had a painful childhood growing up in an alcoholic & dysfunctional home. For many years I've lived in anger but could never pin point why I was so angry, it would plague me continually that I held this deep dark secret. I felt if anyone ever knew how quickly I could explode I would be rejected. 

I never paid attention to the fact that for 12 years I had someone who never left me. My husband continued to love & accept me with all my faults, of course he has his issues too but this post isn't about his problems.

Besides, regardless of what The Hubby does God calls me as his wife to honor, respect, & revere him. There will be a day when I stand before the LORD accountable for my actions & I'll be all alone. I wont be able to say "but did you see what he did?" "did you hear what he said"

It wont matter at that point because God's word is infallible & I can't make excuses for my behavior.

Only recently I've begun to open my eyes to the damage I have done to my marriage & family, for years I've made excuses for my behavior & the truth is I have no good excuse.

Yes, I am a very wounded person both by my own hands & the hands of others but I have a choice...do I live in bondage or walk in freedom??

Due to some recent events in my life I have finally chosen freedom, I have made the decision to love my husband with abandon. And ya know what? It's beautiful, he really is an amazing man!! We haven't had one single argument in weeks because the truth is I've decided I would rather be married than right. Does this mean I'm not entitled to my opinion? No.

It just means my opinion can hold a lot more weight if I deliver it correctly. What man wants to be hollered at because he's making the wrong choice? What man will rise up in leadership if he's constantly being questioned? The truth is ladies our men NEED us to be their cheerleaders. They NEED to know that even when the whole world is against them that they can come home to a friend that loves them unconditionally. Our men NEED to know we admire them & believe in them & they NEED to know that they can make a mistake & still be loved. 

My husband is a gift from God & it's taken me 12 long years to receive that gift. I mourn & grieve over all the time lost & praise God that we wont be old & grey still fighting. I enjoy laughing with him & cuddling up with him. The truth is now I feel as though I can't get enough of him, I'm falling in love. 

Ladies, I encourage you to pray & pray hard for the pains that you carry that are effecting your marriage. We are all broken in one way or another & satan seeks to destroy the family, the best way to do that is to start with the parents. For the few men that are reading this I encourage you to actively pursue your wife, my husband began doing that regardless of my actions & I have never felt more loved. He loved me through God's heart & that gave me self worth I didn't believe I could ever have. 

There is a scripture I believe applies to this & I hope you feel it's true impact.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. 

Deuteronomy 30:19

What will you choose?

The Blessed Supermom

Dancing w/ Daddy

*make sure to scroll down to the bottom of the page & pause the music on my pop out player before starting*

I love this video. I simply adore the way My Sweet Little Girl is looking up at her father. Just before this was recorded my Bear got all dressed up & smiled at her Papa asking if he would please dance with her. He was in the middle of a project & told her he couldn't dance right now. I looked on as her face fell & her shoulders drooped as she walked away. I'll admit, I was disappointed, I wanted very much to get involved & well...shake him. But, I need to say that I didn't give my husband credit.

He was very aware of his little girl & her need for him...

He stopped what he was doing & unknown to her he went & dressed up in his dress clothes & even threw on a jacket. He then came into the room & asked her to dance =)
You can see in the video how filled with love she is for her Daddy.
She's continually smiling & doesn't even care when her crown falls off. She carelessly throws it to the side enjoying the dance with her father more. The dance ends with the sweetest hug as he tells her he loves her.
I'm so in love with my husband right now. It takes an awesome father to step up & be a man of character & an example of love for his daughter. She will hold other men to the standard that he sets for her.
He is giving her the attention she needs as a little girl & he is actively capturing her heart.
He is a good man, a great dad, & a wonderful husband.
My girls & I are blessed to have him as our own...

Blessing Others & Ourselves Too

So the girls & I had a great time working on a shoe box for our Operation Christmas Child. First we went & bought a bunch of stuff for our little girl, I thought maybe this year we'd make a shoe box for a boy but what can I say...they like girly stuff.
We did hit a few snags though. Like I couldn't find a shoe box!
Normally I buy a gift box, well...it's not exactly a gift box. More like a decorated keep sake Christmas themed box thing-a-ma-jig. And it's bigger than a shoebox so getting a few more items is no big deal. However, this time I couldn't find one of those boxes so I opted for a regular ole shoe box. No biggie right??
Wrong, seems you need to call shoe stores ahead of time because they toss 'em. I mean right away, they tear em' up & toss them!! UGH!
So I figure OK, quick run to the dollar store to pick up a plastic shoe box with lid & we're set.
Wrong again.
Dollar store is all out.
So I'm ready to just sit down & cry, Oh did I mention this is Saturday & I need to turn the box in Sunday at church??
OK, where was I? Oh yea, I'm gonna throw a weeping hissy fit.
However, I remember that I have one of those plasticky box thingys at home, it's full of little toy animals but all I gotta do is empty it (where?? I dunno).
So, finally I get home & we're ready. I get the girls & we lay out all the toys, crayons, notebook paper, etc. That's when I noticed it, we had too much stuff. I just didn't know how in the world we we're gonna get all that stuff in there,
The Bear had all sorts of ideas & The Monkey gave up

Thankfully, the Hubby saved the day. He has an uncanny knack for packing things. I mean give him 20 clowns & a compact car & he'll get them in there, so naturally he took over. He & Bear sat there for a good 45 minutes putting things in & rearranging & sure enough every single item fit!! YAY!
Bear was so very happy & so was The Hubby, I think they were both really proud of what they'd done & that they did it together...

I was really proud too, but I was most proud of what happened next. Hubby took Bear on his lap & said it was time to pray. They both laid there hands on the box & prayed that the little girl receiving it would be blessed, feeling the love of Christ & come to salvation. Hubby took the moment to teach Bear to remember to be Christ to others, to be His hands & feet and to be "The Good Samaritan"

I'm really in love with that guy...oops sorry. Wandered off for a moment =)
I'm really blessed to have a man who knows to take every moment he can with his children & be an example of Godliness. I'm very happy with my little girl too, she's got a huge heart & it belongs completely to God.

Operation Christmas Child

OK, so every year the girls & I look forward to packing our shoe boxes. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, let me tell you cuz it's the most awesome thing ever!!
Samaritan's Purse is a ministry following the example of The Good Samaritan found in Luke 10: 30-37.

"After describing how the Samaritan rescued a hurting man whom others had passed by, Jesus told His hearers, "Go and do likewise."

For over 40 years, Samaritan's Purse has done our utmost to follow Christ's command by going to the aid of the world's poor, sick, and suffering. We are an effective means of reaching hurting people in countries around the world with food, medicine, and other assistance in the Name of Jesus Christ. This, in turn, earns us a hearing for the Gospel, the Good News of eternal life through Jesus Christ."

At this time of the year the mission is "Operation Christmas Child"
See, what you do is simply get a shoebox & fill it with toys, school supplies, & hygiene items. You can also write a letter to the child receiving the box & include a pic if you want to. See, it's that simple! And it's honestly fun!
Tomorrow the girls & I are heading to WalMart to shop for "our child" see, you get choices of gender & age to help picking out the right type of stuff. Last year Samaritan's Purse delivered a whopping 8 million shoe boxes!! That's 8 million smiling faces! 8 million joy filled hearts!! And 8 million children hearing the Gospel & feeling the love of Christ through His people!!
Awesome isn't it?!!
I can't wait to pick out our stuff, wrap up our box in Christmas paper, & pray with the girls for the child who will open this box. I hope you'll also get involved & send a box to a child who may have never received a Christmas gift in their life. Just think of the joy this little one will feel.
Will you let God use you to bless the "least of these"?
I know we are & I can't wait!!
Check out this video to learn more.
If you decide to make a box...AWESOME!!! Here's the link to get you started.

Unconditional Love

Groggily I get out of bed & stumble towards the bathroom....again. Many babies have....er...adjusted my inner workings so an uninterrupted nights sleep I shan't enjoy again. I take a detour towards the door to my left & listen, quiet...nothing. Yet, I can't help myself, I open the door & there they are....3 of my 4 Princesses, sleeping peacefully. I'm still not really awake & the moment's sweet but I have to get to bed before the baby stirs, but then I hear something. Quietly, she sings "who will love me for me, not for what I have done or what I'll become, who will love me for me, cause nobody has shown me what love really means"
The air sucks out of my lungs, I feel as though I'm sucker punched.
My girls sleep soundly as the singing comes from the radio & the words echo in the air. I begin crying, feeling convicted. Questioning, what did I do today to show Christ to my children?? How did I show them His unconditional love??
I begin to feel racked with guilt & shame, I'm thinking of every time I spoke harshly with them & they looked back with tears in their eyes. I remember when they wanted to play with Mommy but Mommy was too busy with something "important"
I'm crying so hard that I think I may wake them & then I hear more of the song that has moved me to tears....

I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew

This song is about the love God gives to the broken, abandoned, forgotten, confused & every body in between. It's more than that though, it's about redemption, restoration, & peace. He softly spoke to me that night, asking "are you loving my sheep?"
You see, God...the creator of the awesome heavens, the magnificent earth, the majestic mountains~He created these children. With His own hands, He wrapped them up in my womb as a gift to me. And now asks....are you cherishing your gift? Or have you begun to take your gift for granted? Are you loving this gift as you did when first received from me? Or have you begun to put conditions on these good gifts??
What my point is, what I felt so strongly that night, in the still darkness, as I sat alone with God was this. I have not loved my children as God loves me. I have loved them as best I could but I have put expectations on them & been unfair at times. I have wanted their forgiveness but have held sin against them. I have not treated them as God would want me to.
I'm not confessing that I'm a terrible woman & horrible mother.
I'm confessing that I'm a sinner. That I need to remember that my children are looking to me to see Christ's unconditional love. They are looking to me to see the example of who God is & how He cherishes & adores them.
I need to show them that no matter what happens, what they do or don't do, how they fail or disappoint, not for what they've done or what they'll become~that I will love and love
and LOVE.....
Just as Christ loves me...and you.