Well, I'm freakin out....here it is...I have to get a job.
There I said it...uh typed it.
Anyway, I haven't "worked" in 10 years & ya know what??? That's a very long time & I'm really scared. I mean let me just be real here ya know? I feel so incapable, so out of the loop. Almost like filling out these applications in front of me is pointless because my availability is so specific & again I haven't worked since dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
Then there's the slim chance I actually get a job I feel like I'll be lucky enough to have an 18 year old teeny bopper telling me what to do! I have an almost 18 year old teeny bopper of my own!!
And yes I have to just shoot for retail because I've never been the "career girl" my desire was always to be home with my babies & I've been blessed a lot longer than other Mama's but now it's time to get back out there.
I don't want to...I mean I really really don't want to. I want to be with my family & not away from them.
I'm really torn because I know that this is a need right now but I feel scared & upset that right now my life isn't a cake walk. I'm upset that money isn't falling from trees & everything is NOT okay. Oh, I know it will be & ultimately God is my provider but I can be upset sometimes right??
I suppose I have to look at all the positives right? There will be a financial cushion & the extra income helps build credit leading us ever so closer to that dream home. Being away from my babies will only make me cherish them more. Then of course this gives me the opportunity to minister to others. To be a light to the lost & oh I will be. Because let me tell you one thing that I'm certain of, nothing absolutely nothing will ever make me hide my God. So I will be wearing His love on me daily & hope to be some salt.
Pray for me will you? This is gonna be a tough transition for myself & my family.
The Blessed Supermom