Sorrow & Beauty

What am I thankful for? This question rang in my mind as I read a blog post at Heavenly Homemaker's on gratitude. I never knew about this link up & I feel now it was God's sweet reminder of sorrow & beauty. 3 years ago this upcoming Friday (16th) my beautiful Hannah girl went straight from being nestled in Mama's tummy to being cradled in Jesus arm's. Her little heart stopped beating after 6 months. That was the most painful season of my life, Hannah Joy's big brother Isaac had just went to Heaven under the same circumstances only 7 months earlier. Losing Isaac was painful, more than words can describe, but when Hannah died it was like getting kicked when you're down. We were still grieving Isaac & the wound was so fresh, it was torn open & I felt beaten, being left for dead. At times I felt like giving up, I wanted to just lay down & die. But God never left me, He fought through the haze that was my mind & my broken heart speaking life into my tattered soul. It took a very long time to recover & to this day I'm still recovering the loss of my children. I believe I will not be fully restored until the day I stand before my Lord & Savior. So what am I thankful for? I'm thankful for my God who never leaves, never forsakes, My Abba Father. I am thankful for my best friend, My husband. Who bore the brunt of this storm on his back & carried me to the feet of Jesus when I was too weakened to stand. I am thankful for my beautiful sister. She did everything I couldn't for my babies, she made difficult, painful, & wretched days into meaningful, grace filled peace. I'm thankful for my daughters. My three girls who lived through this pain with me, they are forever changed & have a strong love & devotion to one another. And they're unborn children. I am thankful that after walking through the valley of the shadow of death...He gave us HOPE. My beautiful girl Hope Joanna Jensen was born alive & well February 9th 2010. Her cries were the most beautiful sound I've heard this side of Heaven. Today & everyday, I am thankful that God chose me to be His child, that He chose this path for me. I am being created to be more like His son through the trials He has put before me. My God is good, He is beautiful, I love Him beyond measure.

The Blessed Supermom