Thursday, March 3, 2011

Not Today

If you're looking for an encouraging word it's not coming from me, not today. I'm gonna whine, complain, & throw all sorts of fits. I have bad words stuck in my mind but don't worry, I won't let them come out.
See, I'm feeling very much trapped & down in the dumps lately. Oh! Whoops! I'm not spose to say that out loud am I??? I'm supposed to be all chipper & jolly here all the time right?? How else can I be a testimony to others if I come here & vent full steam??
Well, screw that...sorry if that was too close to bad words. Really not wanting to offend, but that is honestly how I feel. I'm really fried & on edge BIG TIME & need to let it out before I go nutty....again. See, I went waaaaayyyy off the deep end yesterday..screaming & literally stomping my feet.


Well, I'm tired for one. The wee munchkin (piggie??) still isn't sleeping through the night. Truth is she most definitely should be & normally by this point all my kids are sleeping like sweet little angels for a good 8-10 hours...buuuuttttt not the munchkin. She wakes up every night once or twice & then is up by 5 AM. Normally, I'd let her "cry it out" I know, I know, I'm evil....whatever.
But, we live in an apartment building now & the neighbors shouldn't have to hear her crying nights on end.
So, no sleep...or at least very little sleep for 13 months straight...
I'm tired.
That alone is a lot of reason behind my perpetual crabbiness as of late but hey why don't we throw in the being locked up in my little grey apartment. Now, I know when I first moved in here I was all "woohoo!! I'm all happy & dancin' weeeeee!!!"
Now, I look more like a kid who's just been told they're candy is all gone & will never return.
Ya know the super droopy sad face look. Well, I know the weather is a HUGE factor & I can not wait for the first blooms to appear & the sun to come out of hiding. I'm in such anticipation of taking my babies & running in the grass, well...they'll run & I'll sit a lot & look at them. But hey!!! I'll be outside which is what I'm dying for. Before, when we rented the house getting out was a lot easier because we had a large backyard so the kids could run like lunatics for a half hour & give me some breathing space.
Now, they run like lunatics right over me!! I'm sure there's all sorts of "teachable moments" here & that I need to get things in order but right now I just don't care. The monkey is squealing & spinning in circles, the munchkin is under the table & yanked the basket of laundry with her...guess where all the clean clothes are now??? And my sweet Bear wants to know what's for dessert.....ugh...I dunno =(
So, thank you for letting me be "me" & purging my soul's grossness to you. I need to tell you my dear readers although I have not "met" all of you that I thank God for each & every one of you. You are all wonderful friends & it does encourage me to know that you have had days such as mine & that you keep pressing on towards the prize & I will as well.
And now this exhausted & spent Supermom must go...The Hubby is on his way home from work & I need to quickly pull myself together & throw on a smile for him.
I know he'll need it.

The Blessed Supermom

1 comment:

  1. Not to worry my girl! My little guy had a hard time getting into the routine of sleeping through the night too and I also had many a day when I thought I'd just lost my ever-lovin' mind. I'm surprised I still have hair to turn gray! This too shall pass! As will winter. Eventually! Hang in and hang on!