Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I'm not gonna make a ton of sense here, just gonna complain. A lot.
Oh & my spelling may just look like a second grader, I don't care. I woke up this morning to a smiling happy baby, a rarity lately as her royal pigginess has evil wicked bones protruding through her tender gums.
Anyway, she woke up all happy & smiley & I thought YAY!! we're looking forward to a good day here. Then lo & behold I stood up, see I was sitting on the sofa. Apparently she can only be happy if I'm sitting or at least that's what it was this morning. This afternoon it could be to walk backwards on my hands wearing clown clothes singing Old Susanna.
Anyway, it's been rough since. I walked into the kitchen to find the Monkey standing on the counter. We don't call her Monkey "just cuz" Commence wicked Mommy stare down & talking through gritted teeth to the little girl with deer caught in the headlights look.
Then there was the incident with the Amish...
No, I didn't have a bunch of meek people yelling gently at me, it was the bread. Amish bread.
If you've ever made the 10 day yummy goodness you know it's really simple stuff. If not, it's really simple stuff OK?
Anyway, ya use starter, basically you have this bag of batter goo & it ferments for 10 days. Yes, it's safe & no it's not gross. So after the 10 days there's enough batter to bake 2 loaves of bread & give away 3 bags (cup each) of starter to friends. give away 2 & keep one. That's what I do. But today, I dropped about a cup of MY starter.
Then we have the ants. Lots of vile little crawling things that are from the pits of hell & they want to destroy me & eat my soul.
OK, not so much but either way I don't like bugs in my home. Well, I had to get down & seriously scrub the floor because this Amish starter stuff is sticky. And ants like sticky.
Then the phone rings, important call, gotta take it...but what? What's that noise? Keys? Whaaa??? Why is the Hubby coming home now?
Lemme just answer the door for him "eh, excuse me important person but can you hold on for one moment?"
Trip over toys, move toys, open door, scream.
Not the hubby but the exterminator.
That was fun....
So now we have the important person on phone, gooey sugary starter spill, a strange man parading through my bedroom, ants running for cover, & screaming baby who now smells kinda funky.
I politely get off the phone, smile & make small talk with exterminator guy & the whole time I'm holding my ever so stinky baby on my hip. After things calm down a bit & piggy has a fresh bottom I get to baking the bread.
Yes, I washed my hands! Geesh..
Something seems off about the Amish batter though, it seems extra stinky. I mean this stuff usually has an odor but I keep getting a whiff of something extra special. And as I go about my day of interesting chaos, there's that wafting little something letting me know I've missed something. I check the trash, move stuff on the counter, look behind the fridge but I can't find anything.
However, it's almost like everywhere I go that smell just kinda pops up.
After several hours of this odd unanswerable question I find the culprit!
It's me!!
Looks like Piglet poop leaked on my shirt.

The Blessed Supermom

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