6 months

6 months ago I had two Grand Mal seizures. It was terrible.

I had just delivered my munchkin 3 weeks prior & we were celebrating my Bear's 7th birthday. We were leaving the bowling alley, & the next thing I remember I was waking up very confused in the ER. I was advised by the Dr not to drive for 6 months. The likelihood of having another seizure were slim at best but I didn't think it was worth chancing it.
Today, I had all sorts of ideas what I would post here. How God has stretched me & tried me during these past months. How I learned to persevere. I was so sure of all I'd say.

Supermoms this afternoon my Supervan died. Well, maybe it's not dead but it's definitely in the ICU & it could code at any moment. So that changes my post quite a bit, because see I thought I was through with this test. I thought I'd passed with flying colors & I could get my motor runnin'.
But apparently God thinks I oughta study a little harder. Honestly I feel a little like throwin a temper tantrum, OK I feel ALOT like throwin a temper tantrum.
But, I won't do that cuz I'm unfortunate enough to be somewhat mature.

I have learned some things though. Like how to accept what you can't change. Now, I'm no pro at this but I'm getting better at it. When God puts you in a circumstance that is completely out of your control you have two choices.

1. Freak Out.
2. Trust Him.

I'm really good at freaking out. Just ask my zoo animals! You'd think I was the wild monkey. Jumpin up & down howlin & screechin. No throwin poop though =)
Obviously, the trusting thing~I wasn't so good at. But, God is teaching me the freedom in trust. The freedom in letting go. Of just saying "Lord, I can't do this but I know you can, so here ya go, take it, I trust you."
With this new trial set before us there are many questions.

What's wrong with our vehicle?
How long will we be without it?
Can we afford to fix it?
I will take each question & lay them at His feet & trust in Him.

These 6 months have been long & rough, & who knows how much longer & rougher it'll get. But it's OK because the only reason I'm a Supermom is because I have one great big awesome SuperGod!
Philippians 4:19

The Blessed Zookeeper