More often then not when I blog it's about my children & rightfully so, my blog is titled Confessions of a Supermom. But I'm feeling I need to share about my husband today. I can truly say I've had more then a tumultuous marriage, in part due to my bitter choices.
I have held his wrong choices against him & chosen to live in the past rather then trust God for my future. I came into this marriage a very wounded girl, I had a painful childhood growing up in an alcoholic & dysfunctional home. For many years I've lived in anger but could never pin point why I was so angry, it would plague me continually that I held this deep dark secret. I felt if anyone ever knew how quickly I could explode I would be rejected.
I never paid attention to the fact that for 12 years I had someone who never left me. My husband continued to love & accept me with all my faults, of course he has his issues too but this post isn't about his problems.
Besides, regardless of what The Hubby does God calls me as his wife to honor, respect, & revere him. There will be a day when I stand before the LORD accountable for my actions & I'll be all alone. I wont be able to say "but did you see what he did?" "did you hear what he said"
It wont matter at that point because God's word is infallible & I can't make excuses for my behavior.
Only recently I've begun to open my eyes to the damage I have done to my marriage & family, for years I've made excuses for my behavior & the truth is I have no good excuse.
Yes, I am a very wounded person both by my own hands & the hands of others but I have a choice...do I live in bondage or walk in freedom??
Due to some recent events in my life I have finally chosen freedom, I have made the decision to love my husband with abandon. And ya know what? It's beautiful, he really is an amazing man!! We haven't had one single argument in weeks because the truth is I've decided I would rather be married than right. Does this mean I'm not entitled to my opinion? No.
It just means my opinion can hold a lot more weight if I deliver it correctly. What man wants to be hollered at because he's making the wrong choice? What man will rise up in leadership if he's constantly being questioned? The truth is ladies our men NEED us to be their cheerleaders. They NEED to know that even when the whole world is against them that they can come home to a friend that loves them unconditionally. Our men NEED to know we admire them & believe in them & they NEED to know that they can make a mistake & still be loved.
My husband is a gift from God & it's taken me 12 long years to receive that gift. I mourn & grieve over all the time lost & praise God that we wont be old & grey still fighting. I enjoy laughing with him & cuddling up with him. The truth is now I feel as though I can't get enough of him, I'm falling in love.
Ladies, I encourage you to pray & pray hard for the pains that you carry that are effecting your marriage. We are all broken in one way or another & satan seeks to destroy the family, the best way to do that is to start with the parents. For the few men that are reading this I encourage you to actively pursue your wife, my husband began doing that regardless of my actions & I have never felt more loved. He loved me through God's heart & that gave me self worth I didn't believe I could ever have.
There is a scripture I believe applies to this & I hope you feel it's true impact.
This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.
Deuteronomy 30:19
What will you choose?
The Blessed Supermom
